Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
~ Psalm 51:12
The other day someone made a comment to me about how well I’m doing getting through the first year of milestones. When my husband first died, this was something that I thought about all the time, but I haven’t spent much time dwelling on it recently. I think so often the first year after a great loss is so difficult, because there are so many things to do without that person. But in my case, while it’s been very hard, God gave me something to sooth the pain: my little boy.
You see, my first Christmas without my husband was also the first one with my son. That has been true for every major holiday that has come my way since his death. And while it doesn’t ease the pain of him being gone, it certainly gives me something more positive to focus my attention on. It’s wonderful seeing a little person experience everything for the first time, so I would hate to take away from him by focusing on myself and my heartache.
I think that the birth of our little boy was quite possibly the greatest gift I could have ever been given in the midst of such a tragic loss. I am thankful for my son every single day. To me, his very existence shows the grace and mercy of God.
Look for instances in your life where God worked to restore your spirit during a difficult time. I am sure there are, as there are in my own life, many occasions that He has done amazing things to ease the pain or lighten the load. Give thanks for those times and ask for a willing spirit to help you face the future.