Tag Archives: future

Next Time

11 Friday Jan 2013

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“And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.” ~ Luke 16:26

Every now and again, my brain runs a “next time” scenario on me.

Maybe you’ve experienced this, too.  Something didn’t go quite according to plan, and you find yourself thinking and rethinking all the things you would do differently…next time.

Except that I have discovered we don’t always get a “next time.”

The thought has crossed my mind more than once in the last two years of what a better wife I would be to my husband now.  More thoughtful, considerate, thankful – you name it, I would be it.  I feel bad about the fact that his death is what caused me to grow up in so many ways – ways he would have benefitted from a great deal, had I done the growing up long before he got sick.

In our society, our lives are packed with chances to change.  You hair, your job, your location, your name, even your nose – with a little willpower or enough money, you can change just about anything.  Nothing seems permanent.

But death sure is.

In spite of all my wishing, I can’t go back and re-do things with my husband to make them even better than they were.  I don’t get a second chance.  In a world where it seems like the fat lady is never going to sing (thus, nothing is really over), death steps in to remind us that, in fact, some things cannot be redone.

Death also marks where we will spend eternity.  At the time of your death, you fate will be decided by whether or not you have chosen to accept what Jesus did for you on the cross.  As today’s verse from Luke indicates, there will be no second chances.  Your fate is sealed the moment you draw your last breath.

It’s difficult to imagine no second chances, from our vantage point.  Even more so, is the fact we do not know when our time here is finished.  I’m sure my husband thought he had many more years ahead of him, never imagining that his time on earth would be finished after twenty-eight years.  In light of that, be sure you have taken the time to put your soul right with God – it is the one thing there won’t be a next time.

No Going Back

11 Wednesday Jul 2012

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“Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 3:13-14

Out of (somehwhat misguided) nostalgia, I spent the evening looking at pictures of a vacation my late husband and I took to Rhode Island two years before he died.

It was, hands down, probably my favorite vacation ever.  We stayed on this teeny-tiny island that you could only reach by ferry (taking a car on a ferry was a new experience for this landlocked girl), in an itty-bitty house.  And I loved every minute of it.  We went sight-seeing through all of the history packed places like Newport and Boston, cooked our own food, and walked all over the island.  It was my kind of vacation.

I always said I wanted to go back, and I keep thinking of what a great idea it would be to go and spend a week there with my little boy next summer.  I even got so far as to dig up the rental agreement, to see how much it would cost.  Between the pictures and the emails my husband had written, it suddenly hit me what a terrible idea going back there really was.

It would probably be the worst vacation ever.

Why?  Because I would cry and cry and cry.  Not because we didn’t have a great adventure the first time, but over what is missing now – my husband.  Going to the exact same spot without him would underscore our loss in a way that I don’t think I could handle.  There are lots of terrific places that my son needs to see, but not if they are going to make me a basket case.

Sometimes, looking back can be the worst thing we can do.  Yes, I know that I’m tweaking the context of today’s verse a bit, but I do think attempting to revisit the past can derail us from our present and from the future.  I love the memories I have there with my husband, but I can’t make it my goal to return, because he isn’t there.  It has to be my goal, both for my son and myself, to keep looking forward.

And not only does that keep my focus on the prize that is Christ, but it also include a bonus: eternity is where my husband is now.  Looking forward means looking to a future with many more wonderful memories.

Endless Possibilities

12 Saturday May 2012

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“For nothing is impossible with God.” ~ Luke 1:37

Yesterday, a door closed in my life.  It was a door that I didn’t realize I had been expecting to remain open, almost like an emergency exit, for an indeterminable amount of time.  But it closed nevertheless.

I thought I would feel anxious or disappointed, but much to my surprise, I was nearly euphoric.  As someone who likes to be in control and always know what’s coming next and where I’m headed, this was a shock.  My delight in this situation could only come from one place: God.

So often we experience situations where we can faintly see the hand of God.  In others, we can assign credit to human energy, unless we really take a closer look.  But I’ve always found in my life when God wants to do something really amazing, He removes all the visible options from sight.  Then, I can picture Him rolling up His sleeves and saying, “Hang on, kid, this is when I really shine.”

So even with the closing of this door, I know I can trust God to do what it is He does best – face down the impossible.  Because for Him, nothing is impossible.

Because He Lives

08 Sunday Apr 2012

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“He is not here; He has risen, just as He said.” ~ Matthew 28:6a

My little boy learned to say the word, “daddy,” today.

It seemed like a fitting day to learn it.

He said it while looking at a picture of his dad he found in our living room, his little face beaming a smile back at the captured one in the photo.

And I am extra thankful Jesus lives today, because I know one day my little boy will be able to meet his dad.  Not through memories or photos, but face to face, surrounded by a heavenly crowd, who have been praying for him since before he was born.

And that hope right there, my friends, is what gets me through when it doesn’t seem like I can take another step.  Because Jesus lives, I know that everything will be okay.

Shopping Time

22 Thursday Mar 2012

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“Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes.” ~ Ruth 3:3a

Today was another gorgeous spring day where I live.  My daffodils are bobbing their happy yellow heads, and the tulips are springing up right alongside them, promising a colorful show very soon.

As I look in my closet, however, the sight isn’t quite as cheery.  In fact, it’s downright New York-ish – lots of grey and black.  And then some more grey and black.  Apparently when I was buying clothes after my son was born (and my husband had died), I sort of unconsciously went the mourning clothes routine.  That isn’t to say I don’t have any colorful clothes, but they sure are in short supply.

So my friend and I have a shopping date planned in a few weeks.  To get out and buy some COLOR.  And I am so excited.  And as cheesy and superficial as the whole thing sounds, I know it isn’t.  Ruth did the same thing, here in today’s verse.  When Naomi tells Ruth to put on her best clothes, what she’s also saying is to remove the mourning clothes she’s been wearing.  The sad time is over, and it is time to look ahead to the bright future.

I don’t think anything earthshattering will come from me buying some brighter colored shirts, but I do think it is a symbol of God’s healing hand, restoring a part of me that’s been dormant for almost two years.

Afraid? Or Fear?

18 Wednesday Jan 2012

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That night all the members of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, “If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this wilderness! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.”
The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: “How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very thing I heard you say: In this wilderness your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me. Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. As for your children that you said would be taken as plunder, I will bring them in to enjoy the land you have rejected. ~ Numbers 14:1-4, 26-31

I’m still reading the book I mentioned earlier, the one that tells the story of Moses, Aaron, and the Israelites and their journey out of Egypt.

So often I have looked at the behavior of the Israelites and judged them for being, well, idiots.  Here God has taken them out of slavery, shown them a land flowing with milk and honey, and they still find reasons to whine and complain.  How quickly they forget!

But then last night, I spent some time looking through a prayer journal I had kept before I met my husband and it hit me – how quickly I forget.  Seeing all of the prayers that God had answered during that season (some in a very short amount of time), and I was humbled by how gracious God has been to me in my life.

You see, I’ve been struggling with hope lately.  I’m finding the further away I get from my husband’s death, the more difficult it becomes to keep a good attitude about things.  Sometimes I sit, my mental wheels spinning, thinking about how I can try to fix my situation.

And last night I realized that it is exactly that kind of thinking that got the Israelites into trouble.  It wasn’t that they didn’t believe in God.  It wasn’t that they doubted He could do miracles.  It was because they were afraid He wouldn’t do them again.  They allowed their fear of the future to run rampant, when they should have been trusting in the God who had showed them over and over His greatness.  Being afraid bought the Israelites nothing but death.  If they had instead feared God and His goodness, they would have seen the land He promised them.

As hard as it is, I’m not going to let being afraid of the future get the best of me.  I am going to trust that the God of miracles, who has done so many amazing things in my life, can keep doing them.

Passing the Torch

05 Thursday Jan 2012

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“He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.” ~ Psalm 78:5-7

During the past few days, I’ve been doing a little internet research, to see how the company my husband worked for is doing.

My husband was an extremely talented engineer, and the company he worked for at the time of his death had actually recruited him away from his previous job to join their staff.  They were doing some really innovative things with technology, and my husband was thrilled to jump on board.

However, as I looked at the company website today, I was dismayed to notice that many of the products my husband designed are still the centerpieces for their sales.  Now, you may be thinking, “Doesn’t that mean he did a good job?”  Well, yes and no.  He did an excellent job with the products he designed.  They caused some buzz at the CES tradeshow the year he got sick, and even won some awards (for those of you who don’t speak geek, CES is the International Consumer Electronics Show).  Which is great, but that was two years ago.

In the technology world, things move fast – really fast.  Think about the iPhone – it debuted in 2007 and Apple has already released the 5th generation, with a new one on the way some time this year.  That means every year, Apple is developing, designing and doing something new with their product.  To leave something untouched in the technology world for nearly two years is almost unthinkable – and often spells disaster for a company.

That isn’t to say that my husband is the only person who could do the work he was doing.  No, if he were here, he would tell you that the problem was there was no one he could pass the baton to when he left.  His company made the mistake of putting all their eggs in one basket – or, in their case, the majority of their workload on one person.

We have to be careful to train up our children to preach the word of God, so that every generation has a chance to hear the voice of Christ.  It can be easy to look to great preachers or passionate missionaries and think the job is done, but in truth, it has only just begun.  We have to work very hard to make sure that we are preparing the current generation to lead the generations that follow.

Rewarded

17 Saturday Dec 2011

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“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” ~ James 1:12

There are days when I do pretty good with my attitude toward the whole single-parenting thing.  I’m upbeat, thankful for everything I have, and love spending my time with my son.

And there are other days when I am downright grouchy about it.  Those days I typically gripe to God that this isn’t what I had in mind, that my husband was supposed to be here, and that He really dropped the ball when it came to the outcome of his illness.

Some days, when things are rough, I usually find myself telling God that there should be some sort of prize for toughing it out.

And God gently turns my attention to verses like this one from James (I think He may chuckle a bit while He’s doing this, because it isn’t like we haven’t gone over all of this before).  He wants me to remember that we will be rewarded for following Him during the difficult times in life – that He doesn’t just cavalierly ignore our suffering.  God sees everything we go through and wants us to know that He cares for us every step of the way.

This is But a Moment

06 Thursday Oct 2011

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“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” ~ John 14:27

Occasionally, this earthly life can feel hundreds of years long.

Maybe things aren’t going well for you at work, or at home.  Maybe you don’t feel like you are where you are supposed to be.  Perhaps life has taken one too many unexpected turns and left you stranded in what seems like the middle of nowhere – again.

When this happens and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel – remember this verse.  Christ came to give us peace.  His death and resurrection have overcome the world.  And someday, thousands of years from now in His presence, we will look back on our time here as it really is – a fleeting instant, a vapor.

Use your time on earth well, my friend.  It doesn’t last nearly as long as it seems to.

Hopes & Dreams

07 Wednesday Sep 2011

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“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” ~ Proverbs 13:12

This verse always trips me up.  If hope deferred makes the heart sick, why wouldn’t God grant us everything we are wishing for?  We all know people who have had their hearts broken when hope is lost – maybe it’s a couple who desperately long to be parents, maybe it’s a job that is just out of reach, maybe it’s disappointment with the overall direction of life.  If a dream fulfilled is really a tree of life, why doesn’t God just make all of our dreams come true?

Yet as I think about this, I can’t help but remember the worship song about whom my hope is in – and it should be in the Lord.  If my hope is in worldly dreams and human desires, then it will make me sad when things don’t turn out the way I want them to.  But if my hope is in Christ, then He will always make my heart glad.

This life on earth is fleeting and broken, and as such, will never be the paradise our hearts long for.  Sickness, sadness, sin and death lurk all around us, threatening to steal the joy from our hearts.  But if our hopes and dreams are rooted fast in the glory that is Jesus, we will never want for anything – for all of eternity.

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